i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I didn't notice because vodka
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
