i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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