I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
