he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
