yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Randomize
