problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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