Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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