Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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