i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Randomize
