there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize