Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
