and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
