you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize