Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
