I wanna bring you to show and tell
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize