So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Randomize
