I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
