i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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