so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
its not stalking. its research.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
