I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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