she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
