I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
