Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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