Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize