i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Randomize
