he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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