yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
as a side note pls kill me
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
