If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
