Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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