I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
