Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
