I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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