Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize