The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
