I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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