if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
