It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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