Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
