Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Barsexuality is the new black.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
