and you said cock pushups were impossible
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Sext me about skeletons
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
