real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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