I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
