When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
