I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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