At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
