in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
