I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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