Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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