Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Randomize
