My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
