He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
