i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
