i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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