I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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