everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
