The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
