i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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