WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
