Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
