Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize