There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I want a musical about memes.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
