Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
