Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
why is half of my head shaved?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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